One, is enough, Two, is too much for a wise man.
— My fourth-year teacher
This is one of the foundations why I have developed my “I got to know” syndrome or call it FOMO, I always wanted to know everything because if I failed to answer the recitation in school or if there is any topic that I’m not updated anything under the sun, I will be mocked by my teacher and more morbidly by my classmates. Well doing this didn’t make me stood out the rest spoiler alert, I just worked myself so much about studying and pleasing people, and I was mentally drained because a. I’m worried and b. fearful to look stupid in front of everybody and worried that I’m not the great A-plus student that I lead my parents to believe.
Now that I’m an adult, I’m so much grateful for the heartache that my ex had caused and also the pandemic I get to be alone with myself and have no choice but to get along with it. I just end up a four years relationship and while the pandemic starts (not being insensitive how terrible it caused some other people my heart goes out to those and their families), I stumble into falling in love with self-development, the journey of making peace with myself and it continues to evolve, I learned my passion and my goals, the fascination in life that I had but I never allotted of time for. But I got a problem, I’ve read a lot of books, and every time I learned about them I always feel like I should be practicing the whole principle of the book all the time as if I created a new heightened expectation for me that I have to be like this and be like that because I should know it already know.
As I’m writing this I get to realize that yes dang it! I have read this, that here I go again practicing my old habit of perfectionism, that I should take it one at a time, being harsh to myself is my common pattern also by everyone, don’t get me wrong some reap benefits from it, but all I know is it made me emotionally exhausted, so if you are feeling this way, remember that you are not alone, and not being able to retain what you have read and learned from the past doesn’t make you stupid or inadequate it made us human it will come out when you called for it and especially when you need it the most. That is our journey we may forget but we always learn, and it is a continuous cycle.
An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment. I do believe that you should publish more about this subject, it may not be a taboo matter but typically people dont discuss these subjects. To the next! Many thanks!!