I’m a recovering perfectionist, I would never wanted to admit it for years, because deep down inside I know I could never be one, but it didn’t stop me for trying to be one and oh it felt exhausting trying to be always at your A game, my weapon of choice was people pleasing, I thought I had to please everyone to be accepted and thank God now I know I don’t have to. This is for everyone who is feeling tired of bottling up your emotions, you don’t have to do that for so long.
From tender age, I cling my happiness to those around me.
Everyone’s happiness felt like a responsibility.
From what to play, and what to do,
I aim to please, that’s what I do.
As I grew, pleasing everyone becomes hefty.
I hated myself because it should comes naturally.
When something is not right, I felt it was my fault.
Being resilient in silencing myself that I must do.
Years passed, I can see happiness from other people,
Except for mine, why am I not happy?
Maybe I’m a bad person for feeling bad about peoples trove,
But why they are content, and I just felt lost?
Don’t get me wrong I am successful too,
I have a decent job and I have savings too,
But why does it feel that I always chase the next shinny thing,
Yet I never felt settled, every achievement felt never adequate.
Is it bad that I prioritized other people before me?
Now all I know is what makes them happy.
But I failed to learn what would make me, that made me feel empty
Will I be able to get a hold of that contentment,
Or should I just be content to this road that I chose?
An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment. I do believe that you should publish more about this subject, it may not be a taboo matter but typically people dont discuss these subjects. To the next! Many thanks!!
I appreciate how you analyze complicated subjects and explain them easy to grasp.